Review - Delhi6

This has been something I wanted to do all week. The tragedy took place on Friday when we went for the first day show for this I'm-not-gonna-reveal-so-soon-how-it-was movie. As usual, the movie scheduled at 4:30 starts at 4:45. Frankly, those 15 minutes were better than the whole movie. Basically, Abhishek wants to bring his grandma to India, see her die in peace and then go back to USA. That is the whole story. Well, almost. I forgot the main hero [or was it villain] of the movie. The 'Kala Bandar'. Apparently, the producer assumes we are naive and love repetitive humour and so the same shit goes on the whole movie. Initially, its hilarious. But then he tries to make you laugh at yourself for coming to watch the movie. But even kala bandar was tolerable to this poor soul. Where I lost it is Abhishek taking innumerable snaps with his Motorola phone. That is the absolute tip of the iceberg of patience. The phone seems to take 10 mega pixel clear pictures. I have vowed never to buy a Motorola equipment as long as Mr.Flaunter is their brand ambassador.

Coming back to the horrific movie, the story is more of songs+crap+ a for loop+crap. The loop contains the Motorola advertisements, our lady trying to become an Indian idol and dear old kala bandar. The crap contains numerous Hindu-Muslim fights and a never-ending Ramayana drama. The only good part of the film are the unbelievably short songs [or so to say, as I didn't quite enjoy them; but my friends did :-P]. The producer wanted us to remember Kala Bandar more than anything else throughout the movie. I think the concept of Kala Bandar has been stolen from the evil monkey is Chris's closet in Family Guy. The latter is a slapstick comedy show and hence can have totally dumb stuff [which is what makes it so funny], but this is a goddamn movie ffs! I haven't been to Delhi and so I couldn't 'feel' the effect or whatever other Delhi-ites claim to feel. Afaik, they showed only Delhi-6 [Chandni Chowk] as the name suggests which really wasn't so Delhi-to-see. Acting wise, most of them were good. But the script was just so freakishly dumb that acting skills would go unnoticed. As usual, Abhishek does his wrist-movement dances. Well, he just redid whatever he used in the Motorola ads as he obviously doesn't know to dance. Leg movement = -10 , Wrist and Elbow [Rapper style] = +1000 to summarize his dance. What the producer didn't know is that Abhishek dancing in itself would be a comedy scene and hence, the full potential of the actor wasn't used. I don't find Sonam Kapoor that 'beautiful' [though one Mr.Tinku begs to differ :P] and hence I didn't have much to do the whole film other than abuse it. I thought Abhishek dies in the end and hence felt much happier, but even that wasn't to be. Three full hours and 200 bucks lighter, it was the perfect way to celebrate TGIF. In short, the review would be WTF?!?. So, those of you who haven't watched it yet, STAY AWAY.

Moral of the Story: Read the review and then go to the movie, else get owned.

Soaps

Yeah, one of the things I just can't comprehend is the Tamil and Hindi soaps on TV. Its just mind-boggling how people watch them. Unfortunately, during dinner time, I am exposed to extremely harmful radiations from them. What these radiations do is absolutely mind-fc*k you. The screenplay is outrageous. Its like a 5 page story written on a piece of rubber paper and extended for some 100 shows. And to top that, the amount of glycerine used [for tears] would be a guiness record in itself! The tamil (and hindi, as well..) soaps begin with a 4minute song that features every character dancing. That in itself is enough for an advertisement at times. I don't understand whats with all the dancing, coz when the story starts, its almost always 'all crying'.

The most hilarious (and seriously dumbest) part is the camera tricks and video editing. Its like some 5 year old video editing software is being used [obviously downloaded free of cost, as it is so feature-poor] and during the so-called-climax scenes, they use some cheap tricks and add some horrible music to it. Some of them remind me of powerpoint animations, like bring a pic from the left, center or right...how lame. And with all this, you have a rip-off story that contains approximately 40% crying/disappointment, 30% crap, 15% video-tricks and 15% story. And unfortunately, these are the only programs that run on soap-channels during dinner :-/
If you have seen at least one english sitcom in your life, watching 30 mins of unadulterated-tamil/hindi-soap can be the absolute torture. I think this technique should also be used to make criminals and terrorists submit :P When it comes to hindi soaps, the equation changes a bit. Instead of obscene amount of death and crying as in the tamil soaps, here you have omdg amount of dances and marriage ceremonies. Its like everyone in the crew gets married at least once during the course of the serial [ Unfortunately, these are based on very vague memories of high school. Things might have changed now, for the worse..]. What I would like to know is how they get the sponsors. I have to admit, during the 30 mins of programme time, 12 mins goes in ads [ and yeah, 4 mins for the intro of the soap :-D]. Thats about enough of venting out my frustration. I shall leave the remaining for DotA.